Saturday, April 5, 2008

Don't Stand So Close To Me....

O.K.- Another song title for you. But, it really did fit this time (and I really hope no one involved reads this blog-LOL). My oldest child asked for some advice, which I'm sure will not be happening all that much in the *near* future, as she is almost 12, and I'm pretty sure I thought (when I was 12), that my mom was SO!-HORRIBLY NOT SMART I would never need her advice. Anyway- back to the matter at hand. She has a really good friend (like BFF, see I AM cool), who she has been friends with for years. This girl is much more touchy-feely than my daughter. She spontaneously gives massages, and stands really close, and likes to give hugs, etc. Not that this is a bad thing, but for my daughter, it is. So she asked- How do I tell my friend without hurting her feelings. This is a tough one.

I know this, because I also, like my personal space. That said, I love a good hug, and let's be honest, we *have* four kids, but I don't like it when people stand right in my face, or touch me for no reason, etc. I'm even on the fence when it comes to a good massage. My wonderful husband on the other hand, loves massages, back rubs, etc. It took a long time to get him to understand that it wasn't personal. The nice thing is, I get my daughter, for once :) Her friend might not get it, if Delaney tries to explain it. And this is definitely a friend she'd like to keep. It's a toughy (is that even a word???). Any advice, warmly welcomed.

2 comments:

Tales from the CI Gal said...

Personal space is so hard to explain to anyone. You either have it or you don't. My suggestion is to redirect the attention if she touches or gets close. Another comment can be, I hear you better if you stand a little bit away from me. It is hard to read your lips. (I can't remember if you daughter is hoh/deaf/or hearing). This is a comment I have used before.

Loudest Mom said...

GREAT suggestion. She is definitely hoh (w/ limited residual), so that is a great explanation! That may not be the reason behind it, but it works in terms of explanations, and makes total sense :)